I expected everything to be fine! That’s what they wanted me to believe and I performed what they wanted me to do. Went there, had a meal and scooted off with a new dream.

To tell you the truth I was fed up with the set up and the treatment meted out to me. I should have been treated better. I had worked my way to the top with my sheer determination and hard work.

I started from the bottom as a nonentity and was able to reach somewhere. But actually as I was a good accordian player and was able to dance to any tune during my schooldays I felt I deserved better. I had the ability to adjust myself to any situation.

Instead it was wilderness altogether and as a result I had to listen to them, who were roaming in the same wilderness thoroughly affected by the feelings of unending revenge and ambition.

I was so disillusioned that automatically I became a victim of their manipulation due to my unfulfilled ambition and frustrations. And the powerful alien forces collaborating with the local dark forces selected me for the contest to select the monitoring angel. In order to boost my unimpressive image they forced me to wear a garb worn by our victorious neighbouring “angel”. To help me in this venture they selected a set of uncompromising cows and buffoloes as my entourage. I was forced to tread the path chartered by them.

The combination of their vicious revenge and my frustrations was exploited by alien forces to gain a foothold in the land, similar to what happened about several centuries ago when a powerful colonialist force, helped by our one-eyed jacks, took over the reins to turn us into a slavish nation.

I must confess that from the day I came to the fore, only a few individuals with their own personal agendas were supporting me. In addition a set of stupid and selfish cows and buffaloes, playing all sorts weird and contradictory games were ruining everything I dreamed of and it was a never ending set of disasters and upheavels that greeted me all the way. At present it is only the tip of the iceberg that is visible and how it will end scares me to my ancestral loincloth.

I am in a quandary like the dark prince. To do or not to do what is actually right! At least the dark prince had the courage to take the path which he took fearlessly.

But in my case, with a besieged state of mind, I am in such a sheer messy situation so much so that I am unable to think what to do next. The cows and the buffaloes who were with me seem to be alarmed and are having their tails raised to the sky waiting to run to safety. Every breathing human being seem to be against me!

It is said that man’s desire and his task is to create place for himself in history. But my gut feeling is that I have failed in my task and I am afraid that my ultimate place will be in the dustbin of history!

By Vijaya Ariyarathna